Today has just been one of those days.
Where has my Miss Martha gone?? My lovely little girl.
She has been out of sorts for a few days due to her back teeth causing her pain, making her very clingy tired and abit under the weather. But this morning woke up on completely the wrong side of her bed.
Hello terrible two’s!!!!!
The day started with her not wanting her breakfast, so began the bribing, reeling off a long list of would you’s…… Would you like cereal? NO! Would you like toast?NO! Would you like an apple? NO! Porridge?? Eggs?? Cheerios?? A banana? CHEESE STRING????? NO NO NO.
Right ok nothing fine let’s get you down from the table. And get you dressed since we couldn’t manage that upstairs!
This we do and after about 1/2 hour are heading out to grans, then to toddlers. Now to get to my grans we go past the church where toddlers takes place. At which point as we drive past, Martha notices we have not stopped and begins to kick off! Once down at my grans literally 1 minute up the road, I proceed to get my kicking screaming toddler from the car. Luckily my dad was already over there and came out to the noise of Miss Martha sprawled out on the driveway. This continued inside for a further 15 mins. Resulting in me in tears to.
She soon calmed down and was playing nicely with her toys and my Dad.
Through out the day a few more scenarios took place, mostly consisting of me saying no, trying the art of distraction, and failing miserably. Really feeling like she has done the complete opposite of what she knows she should do. I say one thing she does the other.
Then I think the worst thing that has ever happened….happened. I was in the kitchen washing up, Miss Martha playing in the conservatory which I can see from my kitchen window, i carried on washing up and for some reason felt the need to turn around. At which point I had noticed the front door was opened and the little monkey was out on the drive.
I cannot begin to tell you how quick I moved and how I literally thought my stomach was going to leave my mouth. She was standing up near the garage facing the other way. And I wont lie, I lost it. I shouted and got her into the house, she burst into tears. I burst into tears. I had never been so scared.
Now some of you may be thinking, I’m a bad mummy right? But I had turned my back for a few minutes to wash up in the kitchen, her in the conservatory/living room. In our own home. Like we always are! What had seriously gone through her little mind! It was like she just wanted to do everything in her power to go against me, Or maybe she just felt like going on a little adventure. Either way I was devastated.
And needless to say the front door shall be locked from the inside now at all times.
I’m sure there are mummies out there that can relate in someway with what I went through today. Well I hope there are.
And I know that I have many more of these days to come. (Minus the front drive incident.)
Its a challenge. And believe it or not I like a challenge.
I love my Miss Martha so much, with every inch of my body and soul. It’s my job to protect her, love her, guide her, care for her. Today I felt I failed slightly but I cannot beat myself up, just remember that when a day like this rears it’s ugly head to just try stay strong and embrace it, knowing i am not alone.
I won’t lie I’m exhausted, but throughout the day we still had the lovely moments. Her beautiful little voice chattering away, her little role plays she does with her fairies, and the “swor-eeeeeyyy mummy” when she apologised and kissed me to make it all better.
We must share our stories with each other. No one is perfect. We all have off days.
It was just one of those days.